Why "Talking It Out" Is Killing Your Intimacy

Notes from the field of intimate relating...

It's common for clients to enter my mentorship space (man or woman), share their desire for a relationship filled with more passion, intimacy, depth, connection—[all body-based desires]—and also share that they are attempting to remedy this through talking about it, whether directly with their partner/person they're dating or through traditional couples therapy. (If you're not currently in a romantic relationship or just dating, keep reading, as this also applies to those who want to be fully claimed in relationship via exclusive commitment, engagement or marriage...)

Cognitive solutions won't change energetic blocks, patterns, and deeper levels of internal resistance.

From the perspective of energy and frequency, trying to fix a body-based and emotions-based problem through the "mental gates" used in talk therapy relies on cognitive processing, logic, rationalization, and reasoning. While this approach can (and does!) help with some aspects of relating (because it's 100% masculine), it often keeps both partners locked in the mind, as opposed to diving deep into their emotional, physical, and spiritual connection. (Talking about your emotions is completely different from the somatic process of FEELING THEM and the even MORE vulnerable thing: being witnessed in the feeling without spilling or projecting them onto someone else. This is the advanced work I do 1:1)

The feminine communicates through her frequency.

Essentially, "talking it out" is great for a cognitive understanding of you/your partner's patterns and triggers, but it's womp womp 🥀🥀🥀 for the bedroom and for those who desire a deeper level of claim, connection, and devotion from their love interest or partner. Why?

Intimacy occurs below the mental gates.

I apply the same principles to my clients who have been married for 20+ years and those who are just tip toeing back into dating, because it works.

If you desire the provision and passion that arises from the spark of polarity, mental-to-mental (aka talking without being embodied, masculine-to-masculine, instead of masculine to feminine) will not get you there. The energy will feel platonic, and you will be comfortable... but if you wish to feel cherished... to be a muse...to feel ADORED... provided for... and ravished by someone who carries powerful energetic strength and depth, there's a different path...

Intimacy happens in the heart and sacral energy centers, below logic and rationalization. (This is why I've had many clients of both genders tell me how their libido has skyrocketed [pun intended!] when working with me.)

In my mentorship spaces, we don’t just talk about problems and strategies. We transform blocks from the inside out. Through deep embodiment work, energy healing, and a focus on reconnecting with your essence, my mentorship offers a path to truly awaken your relationship with yourself and with the divine/God/the universe, which naturally and organically transforms all other relationships in your life.

When you can hold the vulnerability of sensation, you will be met with more depth and presence than you could ever imagine. (This seeps into other areas of your life as well, such as your wealth—money is energy!—and career.)

Here's the tough truth...

You can read all the books (and the blogs 😉), binge every YouTube video, and spend years in talk therapy—but anchoring into a new vibrational frequency requires something deeper: dedicated support, expert guidance, and sacred mentorship.

If you're ready to step into a relationship (or deepen your existing one) that feels more aligned, more powerful, and more authentic, book a connection call with me.

(Image credits: unknown artist)

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