The Holy Unraveling (When God Splays You Open)

Thy will be done.

There comes a point in every woman's life when the divine doesn’t ask—it commands.

The plans, the personas, the carefully curated identities—shattered. The illusions of control—ripped from our grip.

The ego fights this, but the body knows. The soul knows. It goes like this:

First, God whispers... as light as a feather:

"Go this way."

"Leave that relationship."

"That job isn’t right for you anymore."

"Move. Write the book. Start the business. Choose yourself."

You ignore it.

Then, God speaks a little bit louder and throws a brick through your window to get your attention.

Tension builds in the relationship—you’re fighting more, feeling unseen.

Work drains you—you’re exhausted before the day even begins.

Your body starts to speak. Your hormones start acting up. You burnout.

Maybe you nearly get into a car accident, but somehow, you just barely avoid it.

Life is nudging you—harder now.

Then God pulls up with the truck... The final, undeniable wake-up call.

You don’t just feel burned out—you collapse.

You don’t just argue—you separate.

You don’t just think about quitting—you get fired.

The doctor doesn’t just tell you to rest—you get a diagnosis.

Everything you were afraid to leave gets taken from you.

Feather. Brick. Truck. Are you listening now?

This is the moment of initiation.

The moment when God, Source, Life—whatever name you give it—splays you open.

Not to punish you, but to return you to TRUTH. To dissolve what was never real so that only the essence of you remains.

I have lived these initiations—fought them with every fiber of my being. From being fired and burnt out, to having a relationship end horribly, I resisted until I had no choice but to surrender.

And with every dismantling, the wounds I once thought defined me have dissolved into something greater—into wisdom, into devotion, into Eros itself.

Every loss, every heartbreak, every dark night of the soul is not a step away from yourself but a return.

Because that is what an initiation does. It strips away the false, the small, the performative.

It takes the watered-down version of you and hands you back your fire.

And in that fire, something exquisite happens. The body reawakens.

Eros stirs—not just as desire, but as life force, as the holy pulse that breathes creation into being.

Bliss stops being a fleeting high and becomes the baseline, the natural state beneath all the layers of conditioning and shame. Orgasmic level bliss states are easy for me to access now... even while I sit in my living room, typing out this newsletter.

Every time I am splayed open, I receive more and more of my partner. His pro-vision, his guidance, his care. I submit to his leadership more lovingly, willingly...

Every time I am splayed open, I become more supple, more tender, more soft, more ravished, more penetrable—yet more powerful than ever.

Every time we are splayed open, we over-function less. We stop trying to prove ourselves or our worth.

This is the path of the deep feminine.

So if you are in the unraveling, if you are being stripped bare by forces beyond your control, know this: it is grace.

It is the divine, removing the unnecessary so that your true essence can emerge.

And when that moment comes—when all you can do is surrender—whisper the only prayer that matters:

Thy will be done.

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